Falling Down Around Me

I had a horrible day yesterday.  By the time I got in bed, I couldn't breathe and felt like the world was falling in around me. 

The day started off with me waking to find that the SCOTUS had ruled that a business can deny birth control as part of its insurance plan.  I had a day long debate about this on facebook with a friend of a friend.  I got into things about my personal life that he had no business knowing but that I felt were good examples of what he was arguing.  He argued that women just want birth control so they can go out and get laid all they want and be loose and not have to worry about getting pregnant.  (Can you say Rush Limbaugh influence?)  I took great offense to this.  He said he also didn't believe that insurance could pay for Viagra, yet he didn't answer me what his thoughts on that would be if someday he needed it.  He just didn't get it. 

He said that women should just go find another job if they work for say, Hobby Lobby, and disagree with the ruling.  I told him that women making $10/hr can't just change jobs if the job they have provides them insurance.  It just isn't that easy.  He said they should just pay for the birth control themselves then because $40/month really isn't that much to pay if it something you think you really need.  That's when I got to the point where I felt the world was falling down around me.

See, each month, my child support is $1500.  My ex doesn't trust me to make the mortgage payment so he makes that payment out of my child support.  After my mortgage payment is deducted, I am given $665 a month.  That money has to pay my electricity, water, phone, cable, and internet bills.  (No comments on my cable and internet.  It's all the entertainment we get, and the internet helps with job searches.) Those bills usually total around $650/month.  I don't even have money to feed my kids.  Our cars have no insurance.  Yesterday, my mom spent $240 on two tires for Nicholas' car....and since she has been buying our groceries, I don't know that I can ask her for more this week...and we only have one more night of food left in this house.

Now, since I have told you all of that, let's go back to the woman who is making $10/hour.  Before taxes, that's $1600 over four weeks....before taxes.  My mortgage is much lower than rent on just about every one bedroom apartment in Beaumont.  If this woman is offered insurance at her job, and that insurance will allow her to get birth control for $10/month, that's $120/year as opposed to the $480 a year if she has to pay for it herself.  What is she supposed to go without?  With the math at my house, there's already no food unless the electricity bill isn't paid, and then that will only get one week's worth of food...but then there's no electricity in the house.  So where does the cut need to be made?  See.  He just doesn't get it. 

Then on top of all of this, I sat in front of my television last night and watched a room full of people cheer when the BISD board of trustees did not approve the RIF that would have laid off 110 teachers.  This made me sick.  The state appointed conservator was appalled at what was happening in that room.  It's like no one understands that when the state comes in to take over that the cuts will be more broad and deeper than what the incompetent board members were suggesting.  I know that the feeling is let the BOM do the job because the BOT is not doing the RIF fairly, but really people?  This is not going to be pretty.  It is not going to be nice and sweet and the ones who will suffer the most (yes, more than those who are laid off) will be the students.  You all just cheered that the education of our students will be at much greater risk than if the RIF had been approved last night. 

I can't handle days like this.  Too much stress and too much ignorance. I need to get out of this town and I can't even escape for a day. 

.....and we still have a kitten.